My Twentysomething Life

I Do, Make, Read, Watch, Eat…

About Goals

I have always been a goal setter.  I have always been excited about goals and work really hard to achieve them.  I always thought that goals were helpful and made me better, until recently that is.  As I looked back over my 23 goals for my 23rd year as well as my progress on my new years’ resolutions, I am starting to think that goals do not serve me well.  All they do is frustrate me and make me feel like I failed when I don’t reach them.  I crossed off many of my 23 goals for last year, but thinking over the ones that I didn’t mark off really made me feel bad, and I don’t think that is what goals are supposed to do.

I set a lot of daily goals for my new years’ resolutions and I do not think that I have done all of them for one day yet.  Daily goals are hard because you never know what a day is going to hold.  Having daily goals can limit your flexibility and who knows what you will miss out on if you are too rigidly focused on meeting those goals at the expense of everything else.  I set my new years’ resolutions to get in a routine that I thought would make me happier, but really having these new years’ resolutions hanging over my head has just made me unhappy.  It has turned blogging into a chore.  It has turned reading my Bible into something I do to get it checked off for the day.  Those are not good things.  So maybe goal setting just isn’t for me.

What if I just try to live every day to be the best me that I can be?  What would that look like?  One goal that I have already struggled with this year is my goal to get more healthy.  The reason that I set this goal is because I have put on 10 pounds since I got married, all in my belly, and I just don’t like it.  I have found that because I set a goal to eat more healthily, exercise, and ultimately lose weight, I am paying more attention to that weight and ultimately feeling worse about myself.  That is not at all what I wanted!  Goals draw attention to and make me dwell on the things that I most want to change about myself, but that is not necessarily a good thing to dwell on daily.  Who wants the things that they don’t like about themselves on their mind every day?

Do I want to read my Bible every day?  Do I want to lose some weight?  Do I want to keep the house clean every day?  Yes!  But it is not what I need to spend every day dwelling on and feel bad about it if I do not meet my goals.  So how can I make progress and do better without having a daily goal to measure myself against?

I need to filter my day though God’s words and let him be my checkpoint.

Colossians 3:23-24
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.  You are serving the Lord Christ.

Proverbs 31:10
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Matthew 22:37-40
And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

1 Peter 3:4
But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?  You are not your own, for you were bought with a price.  So glorify God in your body.

 

I’m deleting my goals.  I’m not going to dwell on them any longer.  Instead, I am going to put Bible verses around my house to remind me that I am not my own.  I have no goals of my own.  God’s goals are my goals.

 

 

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I’m not out of ideas

Even though I did not blog all weekend, I am not out of ideas.  I’m just out of memory.  I keep forgetting to do things to write the blog posts that I have thought of.

Blog posts coming as soon as I remember to do what I need to do to write them.

New clothes–I have been meaning to write this one for a while now.  I just haven’t taken the pictures of my new clothes yet!  And now they’re all dirty, so this will have to wait at least one more day, but probably two since Adam will need to be free to take the pictures for me, but hopefully soon you will get to see a blog post of my new work clothes.  They are pretty cute 🙂

Crafts–I have done a few crafts recently, and I am excited to show them to you!  But I, again, just haven’t taken the pictures yet, but my goal is to do this tonight, so hopefully you will have some new crafty photos coming to you soon!

Lessons from the Book of Job–I recently finished reading Job for my bible reading and I had some interesting thoughts come up throughout that I wanted to share with you.  I just need to get out my journal so I can remember what they were!  But hopefully this one will be ready sometime this week.

I hope you all keep reading until then!

Later tonight–a post about my weekend and some movies I have been watching.

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Transition to Delight

I have been doing a Bible Study recently with some lovely ladies.  The Bible Study is called “Duty or Delight.” It is all about changing our relationship with God from one of duty to delight.  I have found the need for this change most evident in reading my Bible.

For so many years I have felt that reading the Bible was just something that I had to do in order to be a Christian.  In my mind, Christians read their Bible every day.  I would feel like a bad Christian if I did not read my Bible every day, and still do.

This study has shown my that God doesn’t want me to read the Bible (or pray or anything) just because I feel like I have to, but because I want to, because it brings me joy, because I delight in it.  But how do you make that switch?  How do you find delight in reading the Bible when for so long it has been a duty that causes you to feel guilty if you don’t do it.

I am personally struggling to make this transition in my own life.  I’m trying to figure out how to delight in reading the Bible.  Honestly, I am not sure when the last time was that I read the Bible simply because I delight in doing so.  I feel like I have always read the Bible because I had to.  So how do I turn the switch in my mind?

Has anyone else struggled with this?   Do you have any helpful hints?

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The Bible

I have started a new bible study with some awesome ladies and I am super excited about it!  The study is called “Duty or Delight”.  It is all about changing our relationship with God from something that feels like a duty to a delight.

I’ll be honest that my relationship with God recently has been one of duty.  Especially with reading the Bible.  I am really hopeful and excited with this study and I am hoping that it will help me be more delightful in pursuing God and reading his word.

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Shocking!

I just had a terrible realization!

I have really been struggling with reading my Bible lately.  I’ve been really trying, but I have gotten lazy and I am not spending the time reading my Bible that I should.

Nifty Goodreads keeps track of all the pages that I have read each year.  So far this year I have read 30,619 pages.

Do you know how many pages are in my Bible?  1036.

Yeah, if I had been reading my Bible for all those pages, I could have read my Bible 29 and a half times!! Can you believe that?!  And I haven’t even made it through once.  I think I’ve only read 10 books of the Bible so far this year!

This is a seriously shocking realization for me.  Clearly I am not making reading my Bible the priority that it should be.

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Sometimes it is hard to read

Why is it that I can fly through a book but when it comes to reading the Bible I find it hard to read.  I even bought the new “The Story” Bible because I thought it would encourage me to read it.  Nope.  I’ve hardly touched it.  One of my goals for the year has been to read my Bible every day and to read through the whole Bible this year.  I realized while at church on Sunday that I have not read my Bible for three weeks now and I hardly even noticed!

I am very disturbed by this revelation.  Fiction books I can read through very quickly, so why do I find it so hard to sit down and read a few chapters of my Bible a day.

I realized that what changed for me in the past three weeks is that I have been sleeping on the couch and not in my bed.  Usually I would read my Bible before bed, so I would go upstairs and lay in bed while I read.  Now, I do not have a reason to get off the couch because that is where I am staying for the evening.  It is not as easy now to tear myself away from the television or whatever I am doing downstairs.

I am really going to try to get back on the ball this week and set quiet time aside well before bedtime so I do not forget to read my Bible.

Do you have any other suggestions for how I can make it easier to read my Bible?

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Presentation

The time has come for me to present to you my 23 Goals for my 23rd Year.  I am really excited about these goals.  I have spent quite a few hours pondering this goals and making them better.  I really tried to make my goals actual things that I could attain.  There are only two “fluffy” “immeasurable” goals, which are: to be more content and be a good wife.  All the other goals I can actually see if I have met them or not.

I hope you will keep me accountable with these goals and maybe I’ll inspire you to make your own.  I also got so excited once I finished writing my goals that I didn’t want to wait until February 25th to start working on them, so I’m going to start February 1st, just to get a head start.

My goals are split up into separate categories: daily, weekly, monthly, and one time goals.  I figured that this would help make them more manageable and easier to keep track of.

So, here are my 23 Goals and a little bit about why I picked each one:

DAILY
1. Be content with where I am in life, don’t wish my life away, flourish where I am
I wrote this goal because of the blog post I wrote yesterday about a really good message I heard that really moved me.  I realized that I have been viewing this stage in my life as an “inbetweeen” transition stage and so I wasn’t investing here.  Click here to read more about flourishing.
2. Be a good, supportive, encouraging, loving wife to Adam
Even though I do not mean to, sometimes I take Adam for granted and I know that.  So this year I am going to try and not do that.  And I also want to be more supportive and encouraging of his work in seminary.  Even when I don’t get to see him because he has a bunch of homework.
3. Do one thing to clean the house
Too often, I come home from work and I make dinner and then I just relax the rest of the night, which means that by the end of the week our house is in shambles.  This year I want to try and be better about doing at least one thing a day to make cleaning the house more manageable and help it to look better more often.
4. Keep a food and fitness diary to help me remember to be more healthy
I don’t know how many times last year I said I was going to “be more healthy” well now I am going to keep track of everything I am doing and hopefully that will make me more mindful.  Here is an example of my food and fitness diary:
2WEEKLY
5. Call my mother
My mother and I have never been “best of friends” but more and more I have come to rely on her advice and her support.  Something about growing older I guess.  I want to be more intentional about calling her just to talk and to make our relationship even stronger.

MONTHLY
36. Write a thank you note to someone I am grateful for
I am thankful for a lot of people in my life, but I fall short in expressing this to them.  I want to be more intentional in thanking the people in my life that mean a lot to me.
7. Have intentional date nights with Adam.  Start with at least once a month1
This goes back to the being intentional with my relationship with Adam.  I want to intentionally spend time with him, doing something together, once a month.  This will be a time to relax and connect with each other because our lives can get so busy.
8. Find a craft or something creative to do
I thrive on being able to be creative.  I don’t want to lose time with myself because of how busy I get.  So this goal is two-fold.  One, I get to express myself through crafting and two, I get to enjoy some time by myself, relaxing.
9. Have someone over for dinner
Adam and I are always saying to each other how we would like to get to know a couple better, or spend more time with our friends, but then we never do it.  So this goal is to help both of us set time aside and focus on building relationships with people.
10. Do something with my sister (her coming over to do laundry doesn’t count)
My sister and I have not always had a good relationship.  You might say that we strongly disliked each other for most of our lives growing up.  But now that she is in college, we have become much better friends and I want to cultivate that relationship, not just when she needs to use our washer and dryer.

ONCE
11. Finish Financial Peace University with Adam and save some moneyOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Adam and I are getting ready to start our third week of FPU tomorrow, and we are trying to really be committed to the principles we are learning and really do some savings.  We need discipline, quite frankly.  We need to learn how to save better so we can be ready when emergencies come up.  I am excited for the future peace to come in our lives.
12. Take a vacation–or have a weekend getaway trip somewhere we have never been
I just want to be able once this year to go on a getaway and relax with my husband.  I want us to be able to do something fun that we both enjoy and get some time away from everything going on.  So hopefully we can make this happen.
13. Finish my Best Picture movie list
I have been working towards this goal for almost two years now, and gosh darn it, this year I’m going to finish it.  As of right now, I only have 14 more movies to watch and two on my shelf at home waiting to be viewed.  To keep track of my list visist: Best Picture Movie List.
14. Finish reading Anna Karenina
I don’t know how it happend, but I got it in my head that I would really like to read this book.  Luckily, it was free on my Kindle.  So I have been reading it for a few months now, and it is good, but it’s just so stinkin long!  It will probably take me the whole year to finish it.
15. Plant flowers in the flower beds outside my apartment
I love flowers.  And I have always wanted to garden but have never had a place to do it.  Our apartment at Emmanuel has flower beds in the front and back and I would really like to plant flowers in them this year.  And I also think the process of weeding them, which is inevitable, will be rather relaxing.
16. Read through the whole Bible again
My freshman year of college I read through the whole Bible, and it was an amazing experience for me.  I have not been able to do this since then, so I wanted to do it again.  The last few years I have not been devoted to reading my Bible every day, and I really want to get back to that.  To keep track of my reading click here.
517. Play Eclipse with Adam
Eclipse is Adam’s new favorite game, probably in the whole world, but it intimidates me because it is intense.  And also because they tell you up front that it will take 30 minutes per person playing to play this game.  That is what I call a significant time committment.  So my goal is to play this game once this year so I know what all the fuss is about.
18. Finish watching Prison Break6
 
I started watching Prison Break sometime in December and I absolutely love it!  I haven’t even finished Season 1 yet, but in the next year my goal is to finish the whole series.
19.  Learn how to knit
I learned how to crochet back in my freshman year of college.  And this year I wanted to learn something new, and since I have never attempted to knit in my entire life, I thought it would be a fun thing to learn.
20.  Go to a sporting event or a concert (where you have to buy tickets)
It has been forever since I have gone to a concert that wasn’t a Milligan College concert, and Adam and I have not been to a sporting event that wasn’t at Milligan in a long time either.  So I thought it would be fun for us to seek out one of these this year, or maybe even both!
21. Take a cooking class7
I have discovered that I really love to cook.  I want to get better at it.  So, this year I will have my eyes peeled for classes in the area so I can get better at cooking.
22.  Go one weekend (one with good weather) without watching TV, movies, or tygetting on the computer–a weekend “unplugged”
I want to do this to see if I can do this.  It seems that on the weekend I plop down on the couch and stay there for a majority of the days of my weekend.  That’s just sad.  Weekends should be for doing things I can’t do during the week or that I don’t have time to do during the week.
23.  Read a biography of someone that I am not a fan of so I can learn more about them
I was trying to think of one more goal and this one popped into my head.  I don’t have a person in mind just yet, but we will see who pops up this year.

Here’s to a year of checking off goals!
To keep track of my progress throughout the year, click on the 23 for 23 page on the side bar or click here.

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