My Twentysomething Life

I Do, Make, Read, Watch, Eat…

Armbands and Anxiety

on January 21, 2013

A lot of my life recently has involved allergic reactions, real and not.

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Last weekend on Friday night I was feeling like I was having an allergic reaction.  Now, for those of you who don’t know, I have a severe nut allergy.  So much so that I usually have anaphylactic reactions to them, so I carry an epi-pen and I have to be very careful.  Well, what was strange was that I had only had a French dip sandwich and potato chips for dinner, so I didn’t think I had eaten anything so I tried to ignore it, well pretty soon it was getting pretty bad and I felt like my tongue was swelling, so I had to go to Adam and tell him I needed to go to the ER.  On the way we actually had to use my epi-pen.  Well, we went to the ER and I was finally feeling better.  We still did not know what I had gotten into.

Then on Saturday afternoon I started feeling funny again.  All I had done was shower and eat some cereal.  Well, I had started using a new soap, and come to find out it had coconut oil in it and I was reacting to that.  So, Saturday we had another trip to the ER.  The next few days seemed to be going fine, I was really busy at work and I was eating things I knew I could eat.  Well Wednesday night we had pulled pork sandwiches and potato chips, well I started feeling funny again, and we ended up in the ER for a third time in less than a week.  It turns out I didn’t have a reaction to anything that time, but instead I had an anxiety attack.  Great.

Ever since then I have been struggling with this anxiety.  What happens is, my brain makes me feel like I am having an allergic reaction.  My lips and tongue tingle and I start to feel like it’s getting worse when actually I can breathe and there is actually no swelling.  Well, needless to say this was pretty scary for me, so much so that I stopped eating because everything felt like I was having an allergic reaction.  So all weekend I have been dealing with this.  Finally I had to eat because I was so hungry and every time I’ve eaten this weekend I have had the tingly feeling but I have had to tell myself “You are not allergic to this.  You have eaten it a thousand times.”  It has been a long and hard process.  I have gotten better little by little all week, but even today my lips and tongue are still tingling.  I have never had to deal with anxiety before, and I do not like it.  It comes and goes throughout the day and it’s just kind of scary.  Since this blog is about my life, I wanted to share this with you, but also ask for prayer.  I know I cannot do this alone, I need God and also the support of my family and friends.  Thanks for reading and thanks for loving me.

And a big thank you to my wonderful husband who has helped me a lot this weekend.

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